hamsterfly

some things didn't work out, and it's for the best. i let go all the things i can't control and focusing on the things i can control. guess where i am now? in a big city. the place i thought i would never spend some times (for like about 3 months or less). i don't like it here, but i enjoy visiting new places on my day off. i think about my future and i am exciting again. i lost interest in life last year, i literally felt like i was done living. but i was wrong!! i was not done living, i was just with the wrong people. i found sparks again in life. and guess what? 2 days ago i just spent my time with the person i had crush on when i was... idk maybe 13? so funny and it was so unpredictable. hahaha. best days of my life. but sometimes i feel lonely here, i miss my cats and my bedroom. also the routine here is kinda boring. lifeless. i miss being free~ tbh. but i will get use to it. i always find a way to enjoy things (always). im writing this at work to look busy lol. o

4 years passed since the last time I wrote in my blog. Well, what happened in 4 years? A lot of things. I managed to finish my medical school which makes me a doctor now, even though I dont have proper job but Al hamdulillah I get enough salary to feed me and my cat. Oh yeah I have a cat that I adopted this march, she is Molly and I lover her very much. I finally moved on from the people who don't deserve me, and that was very relieved. I was thinking that I might never loved anyone again, but I was wrong. I met someone who I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I met him just in a blink of an eye, and that's it, I fall for him. I finally feel alive again. I've never felt this way to someone before. No, this is definitely not my first love, but this is definitely the biggest love I ever had to someone, and hopefully the last love in my life. And I am so grateful for this.  Anyway I am an adult now. I managed to take care of myself, I pay my own bills, buy my own food. And

Hi blog. long time no see. I am fine, i guess. Terakhir posting adalah, postingan menye tentang nikah. Hahaha Thats crazy mizyal! SO many things changed in the last 9 months (since the last time i visited you). School drives me crazy. People drive me even crazier. uhghghgh Why.. Why im 21. Why im not 13 anymore. And the bad news is ................ I'll be 22 in less than a month. thats suck WHY NATURE? WHY Why I am 21. I hate being adult with many responsibilities. I want to be a cute little girl like I used to be. I just need to eat, sleep, pooping. ughhhhhh In the last 9 months, I made many big decisions for my life. HAHAHA They probably will change my life forever. I have different goals now in life. Well, i guess im growing up. 21 is crazyyyyyyyyyyyy dude. Like, Im officially an adult. wtf. 21 makes me realize many things Like... i cant always get what i want. i need to respect people decisions. i need to work really hard to get what i want. i dont always fin

Sebenernya gak kosong juga sih. Tapi hanya merasa kosong. Ntah kenapa apa yg salah, seharusnya ini belajar buat ujian, eh malah tersesat nulis blog. sebenernya gak ada niat nulis apa-apa. Cuma gak sengaja buka blog, terus kebaca, terus agak baper. Kalo dipiki-pikir kok dulu agak bego ya apa-apa semua ditulis di blog. Agak sedikit nyesel, tapi gak apa lah buat tanda kalo pernah alay. Mungkin aku cuma butuh motivasi untuk meneruskan semua ini. Kadang capek betul, kayak gak ada semangat. Pingin kabur, tapi kemana? Pingin selesai aja, tapi gak semudah itu. Semua yang di ekspektasikan di awal, ternyata tidak semuanya benar. HaaHaaHaa. Yaudah deh, udah terlanjur juga. Mau gimana lagi? Cuma berharap aja dikasih kekuatan dan dukungan sampe nanti selesai. Susah sih, tapi insyaallah hasilnya pasti baik. Belum lagi ntar kepikiran hal-hal yang aneh, yang sebenernya tidak ada kapasitas otak saya untuk menampungnya. Dan kemudian itu akan menyingkirkan hal-hal lain yang lebih penting. Well, mungkin

Astaghfirullah... Entah kenapa tiba-tiba bisa nulis judul seperti itu. Ini cuman terlintas aja dibenak hati seorang Mizyal. Maklum, suasana memang mendukung. Hari ini habis kondangan nemenin emak, dan pas pula suasana hujan gerimis di malam hari ini. Lengkaplah sudah untuk menggalau. Sebenernya, ini postingan gak penting sih. Tapi mungkin suatu saat aku flashback baca postingan ini, bisa buat ketawa. LOL Kalo bicara nikah sih berat ya. Berat banget. Karena nikah bukan soal aku kamu jadi satu atap. Tapi ini tentang menyatukan 2 pemikiran, 2 pendapat, 2 keyakinan, 2 kebiasaan, dan 2-2 lainnya untuk jadi satu. Berat euy! Dulu, waktu SMA sempet niatin : 20 tahun pokoknya NIKAH. Tapi semakin ke sini, dan setelah menjalani 9 bulan berumur 20 tahun, kok semakin kasian sama diri ini waktu SMA. Kok bisa-bisanya bikin target 20 nikah. HaaHaa. Mungkin aku dimasa lalu belum tau susahnya sekolah, susahnya ngurus diri sendiri, susahnya cari makan. LOL. Yah namanya juga SMA, pasti yang keliatan su

Hari dimana aku menghadapi salah satu cobaan terbesar dalam hidup. Hahaha. Lebay! Hari bersejarah dimana itu adalah kedua kalinya SOCA. Dan, u know... ini bukan sembarang SOCA. Ini SOCA tingkat inflamasi. Alias susah astaghfirullah!!!! Jadi waktu itu harus jelasin inflamasi. Pokoknya proses nya .....(sensor). Dan kebetulan dapet penguji yang agak susah kasih nilai dan suka nanya-nanya. Dan kadang pertanyaannya agak susah dicerna. Setiap jawab satu pertanyaan, pasti tanya lagi. Mana wajah beliau sepertinya sebel karena aku gak bisa jawab. Hikss.. Hahahaha. Dan alhasil..... dapetlah aku nilai 49. Tuhan. Nilai macam apa itu. Entah kenapa? Apa aku terkutuk ya. Pernah juga aku ujian matkul beliau dan dapet nilai 38 (BLOK CARDIO NSS. Kalau anak synaps15 baca pasti tau maksud aing). Hahahahahahahahaha. Ya Allah!! Sedihnya. Sampek nangis adek bang. 😂😂 Tapi........ itu gak membuatku sebel atau gmn2 sama beliau. Beliau ttp salah satu dosen yg kukagumi. Beliau cerdas dan sangat menginspirasi