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2022 update

4 years passed since the last time I wrote in my blog. Well, what happened in 4 years? A lot of things. I managed to finish my medical school which makes me a doctor now, even though I dont have proper job but Al hamdulillah I get enough salary to feed me and my cat. Oh yeah I have a cat that I adopted this march, she is Molly and I lover her very much. I finally moved on from the people who don't deserve me, and that was very relieved. I was thinking that I might never loved anyone again, but I was wrong. I met someone who I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I met him just in a blink of an eye, and that's it, I fall for him. I finally feel alive again. I've never felt this way to someone before. No, this is definitely not my first love, but this is definitely the biggest love I ever had to someone, and hopefully the last love in my life. And I am so grateful for this. 

Anyway I am an adult now. I managed to take care of myself, I pay my own bills, buy my own food. And it makes me happy. I buy my sister things, I take my parents to restaurant, even I bring them to Bali holiday with my own money, and I am so happy and grateful to God for that. Crazy things happened in a blink of an eye :) 

I got spend holiday with my best friend, and it was crazy and fun. 

That was some good news. Bad news? A lot. I was depressed for some time. Mid 2021-Mid 2022 was probably the hardest part of my life. I began a new life, I lost some people who matter a lot to me. I thought they never gonna leave me, but hey this is life. People come and go. I learn to let go at least. I learn that trusting God is the only thing I can do when I have no choice. And I am grateful. Whatever happened to me, the good and the bad, I hope they just make me to be a better Mizyal. 

Mizyal is pretty much grow up no. She doesn't get mad easily again. She doesn't stressed much. And I am so proud of a woman she becomes. Well, I am not perfect. But I am willing to learn to be better everyday. I'm trying my best to fix my relationship with God and people around me.

Oh btw, in the last 4 years, I became more and more introvert. Remember when Mizyal used to hang out with different people every weekend? Well, she is not there anymore. She keeps her circle very small. But don't worry, she is still a friendly Mizyal who willing to help people and talk people and give compliments to people. It's just that my comfort zone is become smaller. and that is fine :)

I think that is from Mizyal right now. 

PS : I'm writing this blog while talking to my favorite person, but hey he is sleeping so don't make noise :)


Love, Mizyal

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why do i always be the one who left behind? the one who can't move on. and the one who can't let go. why do i am so loyal to things? why do i love things too much and care too much?