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Pengen Nikah (?)

Astaghfirullah...
Entah kenapa tiba-tiba bisa nulis judul seperti itu. Ini cuman terlintas aja dibenak hati seorang Mizyal. Maklum, suasana memang mendukung. Hari ini habis kondangan nemenin emak, dan pas pula suasana hujan gerimis di malam hari ini. Lengkaplah sudah untuk menggalau. Sebenernya, ini postingan gak penting sih. Tapi mungkin suatu saat aku flashback baca postingan ini, bisa buat ketawa. LOL
Kalo bicara nikah sih berat ya. Berat banget. Karena nikah bukan soal aku kamu jadi satu atap. Tapi ini tentang menyatukan 2 pemikiran, 2 pendapat, 2 keyakinan, 2 kebiasaan, dan 2-2 lainnya untuk jadi satu. Berat euy!
Dulu, waktu SMA sempet niatin : 20 tahun pokoknya NIKAH. Tapi semakin ke sini, dan setelah menjalani 9 bulan berumur 20 tahun, kok semakin kasian sama diri ini waktu SMA. Kok bisa-bisanya bikin target 20 nikah. HaaHaa. Mungkin aku dimasa lalu belum tau susahnya sekolah, susahnya ngurus diri sendiri, susahnya cari makan. LOL. Yah namanya juga SMA, pasti yang keliatan sukanya, susahnya...hmmm.
Sejauh ini sih sepertinya susah juga untuk melaksanakan target SMA ku. Apalagi 20 tahunku akan berakhir dalam 3 bulan lagi. Haahaa. Seujujrnya, masih buanyak hal yang harus ku persiapkan sebelum menjalani nikah-nikahan. Eh bukan nikah2an, nikah beneran...
TBH....aku merasa aku belum seutuhnya menjadi seorang perempuan. Masak? Duh...maaf aku belum bisa :(
Dan aku sadar aku masih suka egois, apa iya besok si abang kusuruh ngalah terus sama aku? Haha. Gak mungkin kan.
Aku masih ngelakuin hal-hal yang seharusnya gak ku lakuin, dan sepertinya aku tidak cukup kalem untuk dapet julukan "PEREMPUAN" apalagi julukan " MUSLIMAH". Ya Allah astaghfirullah...masih banyak hal yang harus aku perbaiki :(
Gini deh, ibaratnya ilmu ku dalam hal, terutama tentang hal-hal yang menyangkut mengurus keluarga masih sangat minim. Bahkan kebiasaan-kebiasaan sehari-hari aja masih error.. Sering suka tuh kelupaan tilawah, males hafalin Quran, males belajar, sukanya igan, sukanya liat yutub, sukanya baca novel, sukanya hangout. dll. Astaghfirullah :"
Padahal ummi suka ingetin, kayak gini : Kamu tuh udah 20 tahun, kalo di desa anakmu udah 3. Kelakuan masih kayak anak-anak.
Harusnya aku tertampar dengan perkataan ummi. Tapi.... -_-
Ya memang tertampar sih, tapi memang kebiasaan kalo gak diubah dari hati susah banget. Memang.

Tapi ada satu hal yang ingin ku pertahankan sampai waktu itu tiba. JOMBLO.... Keistiqomahan menjadi JOMBLO sampai waktu itu tiba :)

Kadang aku pernah juga menangisi kesendirianku. Kalo lihat yang lain, kok enak banget ada yang merhatiin XD
Laper dibeliin makan
Kesepian ditemenin
Notif hp rame
dll....

Tapi aku yakin, Allah pasti membalas aku dengan yang lebih lebih lebih baik atas kesabaranku. Semoga....

Yaudah deh, sebenernya aku harus kerjain laporan PK sekarang. Jadi aku pergi dulu ya. Wassalamualaikum



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